My son, hear a heavy word: in old times, parents struck the body, while today many strike the soul and the wound of the soul is deeper than the wound of the skin, for it is unseen, yet it works in secret throughout one’s whole life. Beating has never produced virtue, and freedom without roots never produces character, for between the two stands working love, which few still live.
The Adult Who Does Not Work on Himself the Root of Confusion
The parents of old struck because they knew no other language, while today’s parents no longer strike with the hand, but they strike with indifference, irony, comparisons, crooked expectations, and morality without life. Psychology says: “The unhealed adult repeats the wounds he received.” The Fathers say: “He who does not see himself cannot see the child.” The truth is the same; only the language differs.
Education Through Beating — Fear Does Not Give Birth to Humility
Beating did not make the child obedient, but fearful; it did not make the child humble, but ashamed; it did not make the child strong, but closed within himself. The beaten child learns three lies, that love hurts, that authority means fear, that vulnerability is danger and then he becomes the adult who does not know how to love without wounding.
The Modern Youth Is Not Rebellious, but Unheard
Many adults say, “Young people no longer listen,” but the truth is this: young people no longer accept hypocrisy. They do not ask for perfection, but for authenticity; not for moralizing, but for presence; not for sermons, but for living people. Psychologically, the young person needs validation, listening, healthy boundaries, real models. The spiritual father says: “You cannot ask the young person to live what you yourself do not live.”
The Adult Icon or Obstacle
A child does not learn from what you say, but from what you are; not from commands, but from example; not from moralizing, but from life. A spiritual father would say: “My son, do not try to educate the young in what you yourself are not. Work on yourself first, and then your word will have power.” Psychology confirms that modeling is the strongest form of education, for the child copies emotions, reactions, tone, the way of loving or the way of hurting.
True Education Is Listening, Not Training
My son, listen: you cannot shape a soul you do not listen to. The young person is not your clay, not your project, not your unfulfilled dream, not your copy, but the image of God, with his own path and his own calling. The spiritual father says: “Do not force him to be what he is not, but help him become what God has placed within him.”
My Son, If You Want to Educate — Begin With Yourself
Heal your wounds, cleanse your anger, cut your pride, soften your heart, learn to listen, do not ask the child for peace if you are a storm, do not ask the child for patience if you are a spark, do not ask the child for faith if you live in indifference, do not ask the child for sincerity if you live behind a mask. Education begins with the transformation of the adult.
For the Modern Young Person
My son, if the adults did not understand you, know this you are not the one who is wrong, they are unhealed, but do not rebel; seek the truth, do not close yourself; seek living people, do not flee from discipline; flee from abuse, do not reject authority; seek humble authority.
For the Modern Person
Man, stop saying: “This is how I was raised, so this is how I will raise my children.” Say instead: “Lord, heal what I received wrongly, so that I may not pass the evil forward.” Education is not beating, nor permissiveness, but work of the heart, listening, presence, living example, and when the adult is healed, the young person blossoms, and when the young person blossoms, the world becomes brighter.
Pustia Inimii 